Opeth
Opeth is a Swedish "progressive" "metal" band formed in 1993. They are widely known within the metal fandom for being the most overrated band in existence (and we're counting Pink Floyd, too), as well as their general faggotry. All of their songs are over 20 minutes long, which is "proof" that they're an "intelligent" band with "complex" and "masterful" songwriting. They are known for their "daring" and "mature" use of acoustic guitars, as well as the "totally original" use of both death growls and clean vocals. Despite the presence of growling, Opeth is not a death metal band; they suck too much. They do, however, count as a metalcore band, due to the contrast between clean and harsh vocals as well as their frequent use of breakdowns. The band members are all pretentious homosexuals, aside from the guy who used to drum for Amon Amarth; he's alright, though Amon Amarth sucks also (fucking Gothenburg pussy shit). The fans of Opeth are all moronic, and nearly as pretentious as the band members themselves. Opeth's live shows are notable for the large gay orgies that the fans have while the band plays an extremely wanky 10-minute acoustic guitar solo. It's debatable whether Opeth actually count as metal, or even rock, because most of their songs are acoustic bullshit. Regardless of whether they're metal or not, they are still a pathetic mallcore band that only 7-year-old posers enjoy. Origins as Bloodbath Opeth formed in 1993 as a death metal band under the name "Bloodbath", and featured five guys, none of whom had names. One of these nameless guys - specifically the bassist - secretly left the band because he sucked at playing his instrument, so another one of the nameless guys - specifically the rhythm guitarist - searched Gothenburg looking for someone to replace him. Rhythm!Nameless eventually found Mikael Akerfeldt, a "soulful" acoustic songwriter whose icon was Bob Dylan. Akerfeldt had nothing to do with metal, and couldn't even play bass, but Rhythm!Nameless was desperate, so he recruited Akerfeldt into the band, without the knowledge of the rest of the band, who weren't even aware that Bass!Nameless had left. The next day, Akerfeldt and Rhythm!Nameless arrived at practice, and shocked the rest of the band, who were offended at the presence of the obvious poseur who was their new bassist. Although Akerfeldt tried to impress them by playing Bert Jansch's "Needle of Death", the band was not impressed, and they made the right decision and quit, leaving Akerfeldt and Rhythm!Nameless to concentrate on the band by themselves. Later that year, Akerfeldt and Rhythm!Nameless were prepared to release Bloodbath's debut album, Selfless, a fusion of death metal, grindcore and industrial metal that was similar to the output of the shitty British band Godflesh. Justin Broadrick heard about this album, and sent Godflesh drummer Robot Buddy to steal the album. Buddy went to Gothenburg and stole the only copy of the album, mortally wounding Rhythm!Nameless during his escape. Due to foreign laws, Buddy got away with the murder of Rhythm!Nameless, and Akerfeldt was left as the sole remaining member of Bloodbath. Realising that he'd get nowhere on his own due to lack of talent, Akerfeldt dissolved Bloodbath. Opeth's Origins, Gothenburg Shit Towards the end of 1994, Akerfeldt reappeared to the metal community, who didn't give a shit about the talentless hack and ignored him. At least, they ignored him until Akerfeldt revealed that he had a new band, the progressive metal outfit Opeth. The metal community was interested in Opeth when it was revealed that their style would combine Dream Theater-like faggotry with a new style of metal called "melodic death metal" that was being pioneered by another Gothenburg band, At the Gates. Category:Progressive metal bands Category:Metalcore bands Category:Made of Fail Category:Swedish People